Do You Put Makeup On For A Booty Call

The meaning of a booty call — a concluding minute call to have sexual activity with someone you're kind of seeing.

It's xi:30 on a Friday night. Yous're cocooned in your cozy Couch Fort eating Lean Pockets and thinking virtually dying alone when of a sudden your phone lights up….OMG–Your pseudo- hook-upwardly-crush has asked you to hang out.

i. Quick–You've got 15 seconds to make up one's mind your fate for the remainder of the nighttime! While you're tired and definitely non amped to put on existent person clothes, you lot as well oasis't gotten laid since Obama's commencement term. So get out your flatiron, girlfriend–Considering it's time to get a piece!

2. Text your pseudo-claw-up-crush that you're out at some nondescript bar downtown, and that you tin can maybe meet him in 45 minutes to an 60 minutes (exactly the amount of time information technology will take you to become fit for human contact.) Make sure to selectively misspell words to evidence that you're tipsy and having a groovy time.

3. Sprint to the bath and turn on the shower — You blench every bit you remember that all of your "going out apparel" are muddied. Dammit!! Why did you make up one's mind to watch Pitch Perfect three times that night instead of doing laundry like yous were supposed to?!!

4. Find that black dress that never disappoints curled up in a lamentable picayune ball in the dorsum of your closet. Febreze the shit out of it. Yes, yous're a filthy slob, but these are desperate times and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Equally you hop into the hot shower, make sure to hang the dress on the towel rack– Steam is basically the same as dry out cleaning, right?!

5. During your speed shower, maniacally launder every possible orifice, considering Lord knows where that freak volition be tonight!

6. And now for the razor: the most disquisitional tool in this entire operation. Yikes–Yous've been quite negligent with your upkeep, haven't you! Someone's got some major landscaping to practice ….

7. 5 minutes later you realize you may have been a tad overzealous with your yard piece of work. But in this situation, maybe less is more.

8. Even though y'all're clean, you're still non feeling sexy! Looking around badly, yous detect an nearly empty bottle of Jameson, and without missing a beat you knock back the remains. Considering everyone knows that alcohol fixes everything!

9. Time bank check—WHAT?! You've wasted 25 minutes and all you've done is wash your hair and mangle your privates…Fourth dimension'south running out–Continue YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE !! Wai–What'due south the prize again?! —Ugh, Focus! Pull it together, daughter- You lot've got a mere 20 minutes to pull out some major makeover shit.

10. You make up one's mind that you demand some tunes to get revved. Waste 5 minutes searching for your "Partytime Playlist," but when you lot can't find information technology just put on the soundtrack to Frozen.

11. To save time, accident dry your hair on "Cremation" setting. Information technology looks pretty busted, merely call up- you've been out partying for hours!

12. Now it'southward time to slap on your makeup like a drunken baby. Brand sure to perfect your signature sexy-coy-duck-smize-face, and when in uncertainty, ADD MORE BRONZER!!

xiii. Suddenly, you receive another text alert from him: "Where are yous?? I want to meet y'all…" Ahhhhhh!!! Frantically run effectually your flat grasping for items you don't even need. You're still a hot mess and far from beingness claw up-gear up!! You grab your phone to reply." Hopping in a cab!! :) " Whatever, he's probably so drunk that fourth dimension will lose all meaning anyways.

xiv. Observe your trusty Spanx, and shove your fat ass into that glorious torture chamber. The hurting is actually putting yous in the correct headspace to PartAY! Yeah, girl, Now you lot're getting there! "Allow Information technology Become, Allow Information technology GOOOO.."

15. Throw on that killer Glade infused black wearing apparel, and find your highest boots that are sure to give you sores when you walk home in them tomorrow at 5am.

sixteen. One last look in the mirror to meet the concluding product: Blurry, but looks pretty good, Yep! You'd take sexual activity with yourself!

17. On your way out the door, you lot say howdy to your 90 twelvemonth erstwhile neighbor who smiles just gives you an odd glance as she passes. Oh snap –Someone's jealous!

18. Steps from your apartment you snag the kickoff taxi you see due to your unbelievable hotness. Congrats! Yous really turned things effectually there, and now you deserve a nighttime full of empty sex that neither of you will remember. Yous're gonna make it after all!! Thought Catalog Logo Mark